


Pick and Pull

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Coping Mechanisms, Fluff, Hair-pulling, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nail Biting, Recovery, Scratching, Trichotillomania, skin pulling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 13:25:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11875428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tyler had bad habits. Josh had bad habits.But they worked it out. They helped each other.





	Pick and Pull

Tyler had bad habits. Josh had bad habits.

They hid it, covered for each other. When people asked about Josh's hands in interviews, Tyler would pull their attention away, going on about the album, or the show, or something completely off topic.

If people caught a glimpse of Tyler’s stomach or asked about his nails, Josh would speak up. It meant a lot to Tyler. He knew Josh wasn't a fan of speaking up. So he appreciated it.

They helped each other. Covering each other. Sure, most people would have their suspicions, it wasn't exactly subtle. But, it helped. They didn't have to talk about it. Repression and denial wasn't healthy but it was a false security.

It didn't happen a lot, maybe, they got by and it didn't serve a complication in their day to day life so it was fine. They were _fine_.

They didn't realise they were doing it half the time, the habits so ingrained into their psyche. They had admitted to each other on a late night, wedged into the back of a tour bus:

“I don't even know if it helps,” Josh confessed, voice low as he played with a hangnail, “I just do it.”

“I find it soothing.”

“How?”

Tyler idly ran his fingers over the skin of his arms, gently. “It's repetitive. The motions of it. The sting helps. But that's only when I have nails.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Josh pulled, the skin separating a bit. Tyler watched. “The burn is kinda nice.”

The tab of skin kept growing as Josh pulled, slowly getting longer and longer as pink flesh and blood took its place.

“The biting is satisfying. The crunch under my teeth.”

Josh looked up at him, pausing his motions. “It's kinda unhygienic, dude.”

Tyler prodded a finger against Josh's forehead, pushing it back quickly in retaliation. “I keep my hands clean.”

“Yeah, I'm sure all the black is very good for your immune system.” Josh went back to his pulling. “You never know what's under your nails. That's how you get threadworms.”

Tyler tried to scratch at sensitive skin of his arm, nails too short to burn. “I wash under my nails, dude. They're usually not long enough to gather any dirt, anyway.”

Josh scoffed, “You're gonna end up in the hospital because you got some disease under your nails and decided to eat it.”

“What about you?” Tyler sometimes wished he didn't bite his nails, just so he could get the sting of sharp scratching all the time. “Are we going to have to have surgery to remove the giant hairball in your stomach?”

“I don't swallow it. You know that.”

Tyler did know that. He just wasn't a fan of Josh giving him crap.

“Right, sorry. You floss with it.” Josh may find Tyler's nail biting gross, but Tyler was equally uncomfortable with Josh's hair habit. “Maybe that's the secret to your ‘amazing teeth’. Forget excessive money spent on dental hygiene. The secret is just flossing with broken hair everyday.”

Josh started on pulling the third hangnail that conversation.“I’m not gonna stick around if you're going to be mean.”

“I'm just saying, no wonder dentists love you.”

“I thought you said everyone loves me for my kind heart?” Josh's tone was mocking. They had argued over Tyler's ‘idolisation’ of Josh many times before.

“They do.”

“Sure.”

Their conversation ended up with Tyler telling Josh all his perfections while Josh replied with his flaws. A battle they swapped places in over the years as a way to help the others self esteem.

The next album was released and they stopped talking about it. Not that they brought it up a lot in the first place.

Tour was either considered a blessing or a curse. The exhaustion they felt tired them to the point where Josh couldn't find the energy to bring his hand to his hair. Tyler's fingers were sore enough from the piano that the thought of putting pressure on them, on pushing against his skin, made them stiff.

But they were stressed, and anxious, and mentally drained. So they fell into bad habits.

Josh's freshly dyed hair could steadily be found littered around the tour bus much to the complaints of the crew and staff. More and more strands ripped from his head, one at a time.

When it was just them, Josh felt comfortable enough to do it around Tyler. Hand swirling and playing with his hair to find the perfect strand, plucking it from his scalp.

Tyler didn't watch the next part. He found it kinda gross as Josh would put half in his mouth and wrap it around his tongue. Tightening it and then using it like floss as he threaded it between his teeth.

“What are you even searching for?” Tyler asked, as Josh spent over a minute twirling his hair, absentmindedly as he scrolled through his phone with his dominant hand.

He always seemed to be searching for something when he did this. Pulling out a thread in twenty seconds, playing with it in his mouth for another twenty, before tossing it to the ground.

Josh's head shot up as he looked at Tyler, “Huh?”

“The hair pulling. Are you looking for anything specific when you pull it out?”

Realisation hit Josh, he seemed to not even realise he was pulling his hair as he slowly lowered his arm. “The thickness.”

Tyler ran a thumb over his lip. “Thickness?”

He nodded, small. “Some hairs are thicker than others. They're more satisfying. Feel better in my mouth and feel better to pull out.”

“Oh.”

Josh looked awkward and ashamed and Tyler didn't know what to say, so they both returned back to their phones. Scanning and scrolling, letting the awkward moment slowly fall behind.

“I like it when the lines show up.” Tyler confessed, still hunched over his screen.

“When you scratch?”

“Yeah. The red lines. I don't know why. Maybe because I feel that I deserve the pain? I'm not sure.”

“You don't deserve it.”

“Sure.”

They didn't talk about it for the rest of the night, just staying in their spots, engrossed on the phone. Eventually hands found hair and teeth bit down on nails, but there was nothing they could do about it at that point.

Tyler gave Josh a hat.

Some baseball cap, so his head was covered, just a tuft of hair hang out the front if he wore it backwards.

“Can't pull it if you can't reach it?” He had said as he tossed it at Josh, wincing when Josh looked up straight as it hit his forehead.

He had played with it in his hands, turning it this way and that, inspecting under harsh scrutiny.

“I mean it won't really stop me if I want to pull it out.”

“True.” Tyler had sat down next to Josh, squishing into the one seater as best as he could: he ended up in Josh's lap. “But it'll help. At least for when you don't realise you're doing it.”

Tyler was the one that ended up grabbing it by the bill, wrestling it onto Josh's head as the other sat there staring at Tyler. “Perfect. You look good.”

And when the hat didn't work, when Josh needed to play with his hair so bad that he was actively engaging in it, Tyler sat behind him, pulled Josh to his chest and braided.

He called back on childhood experience, trying to piece together how to interweave Josh's hair. It was harder with the rough, shorter strands instead of Maddy’s long, silky ones.

But he managed.

Parts still stuck out of it, and it wasn't going to win a beauty pageant. But Josh would run his hand lightly over it once Tyler was done, and smile something soft and appreciative.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

In return, Josh gave him gloves, comfy and soft. Tight enough that they didn't get in the way of Tyler's day to day life, but loose enough that they didn't cut off circulation.

He didn't know what material they were made of, but he was thankful for the lightness of it, the gloves barely noticeable as he went about his life.

The little circles on the fingertips of the glove were just a beautiful bonus, some kind of witchcraft allowing him to interact with technology without having to take them off.

They ended up painting each other's nails onelate afternoon.

Josh had stopped him with a bottle of clear liquid and a grin. “Got it.”

“And that it is…?”

“It'll stop you from biting them.”

Tyler had been dubious, letting Josh lay on the liquid from his nail bed to broken tips. He didn't know what the purpose of it was until Josh had waved a hand at his face, “Try and bite them.”

He regretted it as soon as his finger entered his mouth, something fowl spreading on his tongue.

Spluttering and almost gagging, Tyler shot a look at Josh. “You couldn't have just told me?”

“I thought this would be more efficient.”

“You're the worst.”

Tyler ended up grabbing a bottle that they had laying around, probably one of the crews, and had pounced on Josh.

Waving the bottle over him, he said. “My turn.”

Josh said he allowed Tyler to do it out of support. They both knew he was a fan of the white against his skin though.

“Lucky.” Tyler had complained as he painted Josh's pinky. “You get nice colours while I have to deal with the taste of death on my fingers.”

“Stop biting and I'll paint them. I'm not gonna waste twenty minutes painting your nails just for you to ruin it three minutes later.” They both knew he would. But Tyler appreciated the tough love.

And when it got bad, when Tyler was scratching his stomach, his sides, any patch of skin that was unmarked, Josh would stop him.

He would grab Tyler's hands in a firm grip, rubbing his thumbs into the tender muscle of Tyler's palm and tell him to breath.

He would get Tyler to lie down, shirt up, or arms open, and then with a bit of cream or lotion, he would take care of Tyler.

He would rub the tension from Tyler's body, press hard enough to give Tyler the satisfaction, but not enough to do damage like Tyler did.

Those moments were when Tyler felt most loved, most protected. Spread out in front of Josh as he was cared for.

And when they were both too far gone, hands in mouths, pulling, biting. They would stop. And without a word, interlace their fingers, keeping the other at bay while helping themselves.

**Author's Note:**

> You can talk to me @diddlydundidit on tumblr


End file.
